Sunday, May 30, 2010

Gentle Strength


There is power in kindness. It takes strength to remain calm within any storm. And being quiet while others grandstand and shout over one another to be heard is not a determination of meekness or ineptitude. But in business, when you are surrounded by type ‘A’ personalities who have been groomed to perform aggressively, silence is the quickest way to obscurity.

I am not overly quiet, but I don’t like to speak unless I actually have something worthwhile to say. I most certainly prefer meaningful conversations to small talk and platitudes. And I have been fighting this prejudice my whole life.

As a child, my type ‘A’ father pushed me to be different and for years, I tried. But eventually, I had to concede that I was working against my type and that it really is okay for me to be more comfortable shining behind the scenes rather than on-stage. Not everyone is meant to be “The Star” outside of their own lives. I dare say most of us even prefer our supporting roles on the world stage. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t want or expect to be appreciated for our talents.

This week, my bosses discovered what happens when you fire (or reassign) all the copywriters: the ads don’t write themselves. Quel surprise! We may have looked like we didn’t add much value to the company when we were all quietly working away at producing simple but brilliant copy, yet the reality of it is just now effectively hitting their bottom line. Fortunately for them, I’m still here to help them out in a pinch.

All any of us truly wants is to be treated fairly and with kindness. With a smile, you have the power to transform someone’s day. And requests delivered with humble appreciation will more than likely produce better-than-expected results. We may be quiet. Most times, we may exist in the background. But at the end of the day, we all have vital roles to play and ultimately discounting anyone who operates differently does a disservice to everyone. Namaste.

17 comments:

Dulce said...

I don't know... Yes jut being the observer is great.. fighting tomoutstand, i don't like. humble or proud?
There is the difference

.)

Felicitas said...

Hi Dulce. This is not about being an observer in life, but rather being allowed to be true to your nature without being looked down upon. There is real strength in being quiet, calm and respectful, and getting the job done intelligently and in a way that empowers people.

Being aggressive to the point of rudeness, and blind to the gifts/strengths of others is a definite weakness. One can be outwardly strong and assertive, yet still be humble enough to appreciate what others bring to the table. We are all relevant.

Brian Miller said...

i like your thoughts and the comment just adds to it..gla dyou were there in that pinch and could let your strengths shine through...

G-Man said...

Knowledge is POWER!!!

Been missing you and your beautiful 55's Felicita....

Felicitas said...

I'll be back G. Just needed a bit of a break.

Ronda Laveen said...

I am a behind the scenese girl myself. Like you, I am very strong and can hold my own in any situation. I just don't feel the need to always be center stage. The calm strength you describe is indicative of a stable emotional body. Not getting your boat rocked is the key to living a reduced stress life and a key part of ascension work.

Felicitas said...

Exactly! Well put Ronda - and to some of us it is all about ascension, rather than success in mundane corridors.

RNSANE said...

Why is it that so many people feel that they have to raise their voices to get a point across? I ended up just withdrawing rather than jumping into the fray. I just can't lower myself to that level.


At 65, I've done it! My poetry book - Life's Journey by Carmen Henesy - is out on Amazon!
( Poems about the things that have been important to me in my journey through life, some humorous, some sad, some that may have meaning to you as well )
http://www.amazon.com/Lifes-Journey-1-Carmen-Henesy/dp/1451547366/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274652997&sr=1-1

Felicitas said...

Carmen, that's awesome! Congratulations! I will definitely check it out.

Monkey Man said...

Being aggressive isn't being right. Just because you are the loudest, doesn't mean you win a discussion. You are so right on. I should keep this post permanently in my favorites.

Felicitas said...

Thanks MM!

Lori Saul said...

Love your thoughtful post. I too am in business and I sometimes need to be tough ( as the boss) but I try to do it from an inner sense of quiet strength (not always easy)! I do get better results and most importantly I can be at peace with myself on how I handled asserting authority.

Felicitas said...

Hi Lori - Sometimes getting tough really is unavoidable, and I'm sure you don't do so without cause. Sounds to me like you are a terrific boss!

Jingle said...

great point made.
Happy Sunday 2 u.

Jessie said...

i believe we may be kindred souls. this really hit home with me. thank you for stopping by and commenting on my last post. maybe someday i'll feel comfortable in my own skin...someday...

smiles,

The Urban Cowboy said...

Because of my position, I am forced to take center stage...most times in my field. However, I do realize AND rely on many others that work behind the scenes. Without their talents, I would not be successful or have a position. Every endeavor in business requires a Team effort.

Paul C said...

You express so well how it is difficult at times interacting with those type A's. Hopefully the bosses know who their real stars are in the greater scheme of things and provide adequate recognition.