Monday, April 5, 2010

Family Drama


"Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears." 
~ Barbara Johnson

Nothing brings out crazy quite like family get-togethers over the holidays. Why is that? What compels us as grown people who have no difficulty holding it together amongst strangers, to routinely regress and act out around the relatives? It can’t just be my family… can it?

I don’t know whether it’s because we’ve become overly-comfortable with one another or that we’ve been thrown together having so little in common aside from our last names; in actuality, it’s probably a bit of both. But after the impromptu fireworks have erupted, what then?

I know when I let loose - which thankfully happens far less than it once did – I feel terrible and have difficulty getting past it until I’ve apologized or discussed the situation ad nauseum with someone sane. But there are more regular fire starters who clearly feel less remorse over their actions and even seem to relish a good fight over nothing at all.

Regardless of why things are the way they are, if nothing else these circumstances are true opportunities to practice the art of patience.

"Patience can't be acquired overnight. It is just like building up a muscle. Every day you need to work on it." ~ Eknath Easwaran

9 comments:

Brian Miller said...

i understand that completely...had easter dinner with the extended fam yesterday...i survived. smiles.

Wendilea said...

What a wonderful way of looking at the discomfort of the family drama. Blessings to you!

Sherry said...

I think you're right...it's a combination of familiarity and having little in common. I'm going to have a post by tomorrow about my mother...who is a real character...in case you'd like to read.

Sir Thomas said...

*sighs* Im glad you said it...

your wonderful

Ronda Laveen said...

'Tis not just your family. Old hurts and slights just never seem to go away.

Nevine said...

No, Felicitas, it's not just your family. And I think it's because we allow ourselves to think we can behave like we do and get away with it that brings this about with family. Just as there are parameters with friends and acquaintances, there should be with family members. But we all refuse to see it like that. It's unfortunate, because we all suffer the discomforts of too much familiarity.

Nevine

Nessa said...

Ain't this the truth. No one can torque me up the way family can.

Dulce said...

iT'S THE SAME OLD STORY...
you just see thenm once in a while and find out how little there is you have in common and you have to pretend this and that and as if nothing really matters ...
but it does, they do not give or bring sweetness to your life...

Uncomfortability perhaps?

I guess so...

Family matters--- oooohhh
Hugs ;)

Susan at Stony River said...

Are we in the same family?
:-(

In our case I think it's that few of us can take 20, 30, 40 years of baggage and it just 'splodes all over. I avoid it all now completely, since my parents died.

I hope your next one passes off more peacefully!